Inferno
by Kaynasou
Summary: Dawsey central. Dawson is the new candidate but is insanely attracted to the Lieutenant who seems to share the feelings. How would their relationship, if there be, survive the hardship of the job? Will the inferno of their love be hotter than the inferno they work into?
1. Impulse

Inferno

 **Context: Not sure a mix of the seasons. Shay isn't dead here but Brett is Gabby's replacement. Gabby and Casey were never together so keep that in mind. Enjoy.**

Casey emerged from the burning house caughing and handing over a burned victim to Brett and Shay. Gabby's breath started again at this sight.

"You ok?" she asked, her paramedic reflexes in control of her hands. They palpated his muscled arms and chest before stopping on his heart. The beat felt normal given the circumstances.

"I'm fine" he managed, between two coughs. He cupped her hand and stuck his eyes in hers as a way to reassure her. "Hey chief; it looked like someone had left a curling iron too close to the curtains and they directly fell on to the sofa, which…"

"Accidental then," Matt nodded and placed a calming hand on Gabby's shoulder.

Severide came out shortly after "Basement's all clear, looks like everyone's out"

Chief Boden smiled, wiped his forehead and clapped for attention "Ok, send the water then."

The fire was out so the crew headed to the house.

In the back of the truck, the laughs caught Casey's attention.

"Our candidate did a fantastic job today"

"She was out before the rest, talk about being lazy" Otis said, rolling his eyes. Cruz chuckled.

"I just knew where to go"

"Right!" he added, nudging Cruz's shoulder.

"What? First thing I saw coming in was a Barbie doll. Kids usually like to hide under their bed when they're scared. So, that where I went.

"Hear that, everyone? That's good work. You gotta give her that," Casey said, he turned around and waited for Otis to do so.

"Hey! Aren't we supposed to give candidates a hard time? That's what I love most about this job"

"Nope, Otis. Looks like this time we aren't allowed to have any fun" Cruz said as he opened the truck door.

"Tell me about it'" Mouch joined in.

Gabby threw a sly smile at them and wiggled her eyebrows "don't be jelly" she got out of the truck after Otis and headed to the gear room.

"Dawson, can we have a word?" Lieutenant Casey said, more as an order than a question.

"Sure" he grabbed her arm and dragged her to the lockers' room.

"What happened out there? You seemed more scared when I got out of the building than when I told you to run in,"

She inhaled hastily in surprise "I guess, I," his burning pupils deep into hers, she saw his face grow closer to her.

"hmm?" he invited,

He placed his hand on the front of her shoulder and gently pushed her against a locker. Their faces were barely 2 inches apart. She felt his breath on her neck and his cologne invaded her nostrils. Masculine, viril: a fitting description of the man who stood in front of her. She looked at him and anticipated the kiss, but it never came.

 _It would ruin everything._

 _He's my lieutenant, that's it._

 _A lieutenant with really blue eyes._

 _A hot lieutenant with blue eyes._

 _Don't look at his eyes, they're dangerous._

She forced her gaze down and stopped at his lips. With the side of his finger, he slowly pushed up her chin until she looked at him again. A lip bite later, she caught her breath, struggling to resist the tentation of his lips.

He brought his mouth closer and just as their lips were about to collide:

TRUCK 81, SQUAD 3, AMBULANCE 61. RESTAURANT FIRE 3 JFK STREET.

 _Saved by the bell._

He pulled away and ran toward the truck. She followed, shaking what had just happened out of her head.

The fire wasn't progressing too quickly.

Casey and Severide analysed the situation. You could hear people screaming for help from inside the restaurant. A lot had made it out. And the police was setting a perimeter to keep anyone from getting too close.

"Capp and Mills take the front help Casey and his team get everyone out. We'll take the back" Severide yelled so his team could hear.

"The priority's on the victims, I want this restaurant empty in less than ten minutes. Go go go!" Chief Boden said,

Casey ran toward the restaurant,

"Dawson, on my hip. Otis inside, it's a one story building nobody will be needing the ladder. Cruz and Otis take the left, the rest take the center. Dawson and I will take the right,"

"You got it Lieutenant" They replied in unison

"Mask up, this is going to be a tough one" They ran in the burning building and each couple of teamworkers headed to their side.

Gabby followed Casey at a fast rate but slowed down when the thick smoke darkened her sight. She turned on the light of her cask and started scanning for hidden victims. The gear weighed heavy on her back but it almost became second nature. She spotted a foot.

"Casey!" she nodded at the foot and they headed to the victim. A table had fallen over him, Gabby checked for any injuries and saw none. Casey lifted the table up and put it beside him. The man's pulse was weak.

"Get him out, he can still make it out alive" she looked around them and then "I'll look for someone else"

"Gabby.."

"I can do it, hurry. He needs fresh air"

Casey reluctantly left her behind. The smoke grew darker and darker every step of her way. The tables and chairs were upside down all over the place, probably due to the panic of the clients. The flames started eating the wall between the kitchen and the reception room.

"Fire department, call out!" she kept screaming, she watched for victims who might have fainted after breathing too much of the smoke.

"Left side all clear" she heard Otis say, through the radio.

The wall beside her caught fire and she had to pull away to make sure it didn't burn her arm.

"Lila wake up. Please Lila. Come on " she heard the voice of a young girl.

The oxygen in her mask started running out, she needed to act quick.

"Fire department call out!" She called,

"Lila come on!" the girl begged.

"Hey, girl. I'm here to help, you need to tell me where you are so I can come get you and your friend safe,"

"Over here, under the table"

"What is your name?"

"Katie"

"Ok, Katie stick you hand out so I can see you.

The thick smoke blurred every thing, Gabby forced on her eyes.

"Center, all clear" Capp said on the radio.

"Dawson do you copy?" Casey's voice was shaken.

She grabbed the radio "I just found two little girls, one's conscious but the other one is stuck under a table. I'll get her out and I'm all clear in here too,"

"Copy that, hurry this restaurant is about to burst in flames" Chief Boden yelled.

Gabby broke every window she found to suck as much air as she could. She moved closer to the trapped little girl and yanked the table off.

"You're hurting her, stop it" Katie said in a little voice.

"What?" Gabby asked, she looked back at Lila. The foot of the table had stabbed the girl's stomach. She had very little chance of making it. Lila's blood covered her shirt and Gabby knew that moving her would take too much time to save Katie. She squatted down and took the girl's pulse.

"Shit!" She took her radio "Chief, I'm coming out, one of the girls just died. I'm gonna need some medics for the other one,"

She wrapped her arms around Katie's waist and lifted her up on her hip. The flames ate their way through the ceiling and the propagation pace doubled and then tripled in intensity.

"Dawson report" Chief Boden shouted on the radio.

"Chief. I think there's an accelerant in the ceiling"

A huge thud deafened one of her ears and the luxurious chandelier collapsed right in front of her. She stopped her pace, gave her back to the projected glass shatters, bodyshielding the little girl as she had been taught. Katie let out a scream and her frail body gave in to Dawson's arms.

"Katie, stay with me!" she shook the little body but had no response.

"Dawson report!" Casey sounded histerical.

"Dawson report!"

She ignored the calls and focused on getting out of the hot mess. The doorframe ahead of her seemed to have completely burned off meaning the flames shut off on their own. She took a leap of fate and sprinted across from it, a solid frame blocked her way. When her eyes adjusted to the outside light, it was Casey.

"Oh my god! Dawson don't ever do that again! That's an order," He blurted out, relief written all over his face.

A shy smile curved her lips but she quickly focused back on the girl, "Shay, Brett. She was awake all the time speaking and everything. She only fainted about a minute ago with the big scare of the chandelier falling in front of us"

" Quite the fighter this one, ha? What's her name?" Shay asked, getting ready to take listen to her heartbeat.

"Katie"

The medics took the girl in the ambulance.

The whole team sent water and worked on putting the fire out.

Once at the firehouse everyone looked at Gabby.

"What?" she asked

"Lunch isn't cooking itself" Mouch said, pointing toward the kitchen.

"Hey, great job out there Dawson. Don't worry about lunch I'll figure something out" Mills said, happy to cook again.

Cruz, Otis and Mouch bet on which meal he'd make and ran in following Mills.

Herman and Casey talked about a party they wanted to throw at Molly's.

"Lieutenant Casey. Can we have a word?"

"Sure, what's up Dawson?" He followed her to the locker's room where she pushed him against the locker and planted her lips between his.

Her hair spiked when he kissed her back and found his way to her neck. She placed her arms around his torso as he picked her up swung her around to then pin her against the locker. He came back to her eager lips with a hand on the side of her face. A barely audible moan escaped Gabby's mouth, stealing him a smile.

TRUCK 81, SQUAD 3, AMBULANCE 61

Shay came in to get her phone at that moment. Their bodies forcefully separated, the bittersweet sensation of this contact settling in both of them.

"Hot steamy sex at the firehouse, I like that!" Shay said, Casey blew his frustration out and Gabby's reddened cheeks vouched for the heat of that moment.

* * *

 _ **Decided to continue it. But I missed Dawsey hotness so... here it is, lol. Tell me what you think.**_


	2. Lieutenant

**_Brace yourselves, it's intense. Kay, ready? Good._**

* * *

Sipping his cup of coffee, Casey was lost in his train of thoughts. The make out session he had had with his candidate, fun as it had been, was a mistake and could very well interfere with both their carreers.

A strong minded woman was just what he needed. Someone who was not afraid to call on his bullshit, someone who could handle a house on fire and still look hot covered in ashes. That special someone had been hard to find. Gabby embodied each and every fantasies he had envisonned for the perfect woman. Honest, hard-headed, go-getter not afraid to fall and get back on her feet right after it.

Would that be enough though? A lieutenant is to be respected, orders would be harder to take coming from somebody so close to you. Somebody you care so much about.

"Hey" Gabby said, laying the day's paper flat on the table. She dragged a chair in with her and sat right next to Casey. She smiled a winked at him. He forced himself not to respond.

"Candidate" he raised his cup as to acknowledge her presence.

Her smile took on the hint of a cringe and then she looked at Mouch across the table.

"So, Antonio told me you tried to get your Sergeant girlfriend to take care of a few parking for you. How's that been working so far?" she said, chuckling.

"Go ahead, laugh at me but don't tell me you've never tried that with your brother"

She frowned.

"He's in intelligence. Parking tickets are probably the least of his concerns."

"You've never tried, did you?" Otis asked, inserting himself in the conversation.

She shook her head and saw Mills pour himself some coffee.

"Hey, can I get some, too?" She said, raising a finger.

"Sure" He flashed a big smile "How do you like it?"

"Black and one sugar"

"You should try next time. I'm sure it'll work" Mouch took a bite of his honey glazed donut.

"Here's your coffee Candidate" Mills handed it to her, the same smile stretching his lips.

"Well aren't you so charming?" Casey said, adressing to Mills.

"That smile's only for the ladies" he flashed it again, showcasing his perfectly white teeth.

"Hey, hey. What did you call our candidate again?" Casey put a hand behind his ear as to hear better.

"A lady" Mills replied, more as a question.

"Dawson's a candidate. Period. No special treatment" He dragged the newspaper to his side, and looked for the sports section.

 _Isn't a hot make out considered 'special treatment'?_

"When has that ever been the case?" Herrman asked, out of the blue.

"Since her ladyness got her out of cooking duty yesterday, And shower cleaning this morning. No special treatment. Am I making myself clear?"

Mills had been a doll with Gabby, pulling her chair, assisting her while cooking. The perfect gentleman.

"Got it Lieutenant" Gabby said. "But, yesterday, I was doing something else at that time. Do you remember? Lieutenant"

He lifted his eyes from the paper, pressed his lips together and sneaked a silencing glance at her. She smiled, holding up her coffee with both hands, right in front of her mouth.

"Oh yeah, I remember, she asked to talk to you in private!" Otis said, "Everything ok with you Dawson?"

"uhm, don't worry about it. I just had some hot business to take care of"

Casey seemed to hide behind his hand when an early call surprised everyone.

All three teams were required.

Gabby took a donut from the box Brett had brought and grabbed her gear. Mouch looked at her as if she were a criminal.

"What?"

"No food in the truck. Casey'll flip out"

"I got it" She flared her hand as to say 'don't worry'

Gabby remained silent in the truck, making herself as scarce as possible as she sneakily took bites out of her donut.

On site, a young man dressed as a butler jogged toward them. The look on his face was a mixture of fear and incoherence.

"The elevator got stuck between the 21 and the 22nd floor. they're really old ones so they're tight," He said as Otis listened in for the details.

"Power's off?" Chief Boden asked,

"Yeah" the butler replied, putting a hand to his mouth.

"Is there a key hole at any of those levels?", When the butler nodded, the team rushed to the staircase.

Casey slowed down and waited for Gabby to get close enough.

"This should be quick, people often get anxious in elevators so brace yourself for the reactions once they're out"

Otis had opened the doors of the 22nd floor.

He peeked down to evaluate the situation.

"Wow!" He said, with staggering startle. "Good thing squad's here"

Severide pushed Mouch to the side and took a glance at the incident. "Sir, what were you thinking? And you, below. What happened there?" He said in a patronizing tone. The team could hear a man sob and cry.

Shay got closer and hushed Severide.

"Sir, it's going to be ok" She reassured in a controlled voice.

Hearing the appeasing tone, the man looked up. He was caught up between two of the elevator cables.

Severide turned to his team "Ok, the elevator's closer to the 21 floor so we're going to let casey's team get the people who are actually in the elevator, then we'll figure a way to cut him loose"

The man scowled in pain.

"Hey Sir, what's your name?" Shay asked

"Jay, Jay Black"

"Ok Jay, I'm going to need you to stop moving. Can you tell me what hurts?" she asked.

"I don't know. Everything" he took his breath and appeared to focus, "my stomach,"

"Are you bleeding?"

"I.. I can't see" his voice started trembling.

"Remain calm. We are here to help. Stay still. Just help me help you. Can you do that?"

He nodded with fear in his eyes.

"Are the cables over or under your skin?"

"I don't know?" He looked down and put a hand on his stomach then brought it to his eyes "It's not bleeding so over?"

"You don't sound certain"

"I'm not, I just want to go home" he cried, "get me out, please get me out"

* * *

Casey and Otis opened the doors and eyesized the tight space.

"I can do it" Gabby said,

"I can too. Are you going to know what to do?" Herrman asked

"Yeah I did it at the academy" confident, she no longer addressed to Hermann, she seeked Casey's approval.

"Kay'. Dawson you're up. If you have any problem doing it, just say so. We'll get Herrman up"

"Got it. Lieutenant"

Casey and Otis gestured for Gabriela to use their joined hands as a ladder. The foot and a half access to the inside of the elevator was plenty of room for her slim frame. She grabbed the edge of the elevator floor and pushed on her hands to get her body up.

"Guys, push my leg up", the extra push sent her leg on the floor of the elevator. She put all of her weight on that leg and that stability was what got her inside.

A couple was inside, the man attempted to reassure his girlfriend while looking equally as scared. A teenager was on the floor.

 _Anxiety, that must be it._

"Dawson, how many people are in the elevator?"

"3 and a half" she answered.

She tapped on a man's leg "You all right?"

"Get me down, get me down, oh my god, how did I get here? I told my wife I never cheated but she didn't believe me. She said, go to a hotel or go to hell, but you're not sleeping under my roof! And I might be going to both!" He burst into tears.

"What do you mean and a half?"

"Someone's legs are hanging from the top exit." Two women and two men" Gabby took her radio and got it close enough to the woman. "What happened here?"

"The elevator stopped a few floor over this one. We've been here for hours so we got tired of waiting. The first guy climbed up to get help because he was very impatient. But when he got out, the elevator dropped a few floors down. And this girl hit her head" she pointed at the girl Gabby thought had fainted.

"We heard him scream, that's when Jay went to help" The man took the woman's hand.

"Wait, Jay. Is that the first guy we found?" Casey wondered alout, he took out his radio." Severide, the elevator is unstable. It moved before we got here. Can you get it stabilized?"

"Sure"

"Also, Apparently, someone else is stuck a few floors up. Can you see anything from where you are?"

He could hear Kelly's voice echo in the elevator cabin.

"I see him. I think we're too late though, Capp, Mills go there and get him out," Severide then asked for a few truck men to help stabilize the cabin.

* * *

Capp first observed and measured up the issue. The man's limbs were lifeless and he seemed to have been dead long before they got there. He was pale with blueish lines drawing out his veins. Capp's second thought was to get next to him. The body hung right in front of the doors. Good, that would be simple. He could cut the cables, but they seemed to thick. He could bend them. But then Jay could bleed out if the cables he got stuck between cut him.

He went over to the edge, right where the doors would be and put a hand on the man. At this contact, the arm seemed to twich. Capp staggered and looked at Mills. It happens, he reminded himself. He took a saw out of his squad case and started sawing it loose. Fast, efficient, the way to go.

"Hold the cable. Once it's cut, it can't fall on Severide and Jay. Would be counter productif, don't you think? He kept sawing the cable and the twich came back, stronger, more than just a muscle contraction.

"You're medic trained, right?" he asked

"Ha" Peter confirmed

"Do your thing, I think he's alive"

Capp move out of the way and Mills immediately took his pulse.

"Weak but still there" he concluded.

* * *

Severide glanced up again, the man's body folded slack as broken in two and only hung by a thread that wrapped around his waist.

"I've never seen anything like that" he said, he grabbed a rope fom Clark and prepared to go down and stabilize the cabin.

"Wai wai wait! What's going on? Why is it shaking?" Jay yelled, he held tighter to the cable.

"Jay' we want you home just as much as you do. You need to let us work. Ok?" Shay took on the most calming voice she could have.

"He's alive, we need a medic', 29th floor" Mills said, through the radio.

Severide turned around to Brett but she had already grabbed her first aid bag.

"Be right there" she got her yellow board and jogged to the staircase.

* * *

"Ok, Gabby. Your call. How do you want to proceed?" Casey said as though ready to take orders.

The woman was slim enough to fit through the small space. The men would have to wait a little while. She tapped on the hanging legs again.

"Hey, you ok?"

"Yeah, hanging in there" he weakly chuckled.

"Humor, ha? I guess you're good," she placed a hand on the woman next to her.

"I'm going to send the woman down, get ready to catch her"

"Alright" she heard them move around "Go ahead" Casey said.

"Sit down and let you legs hang there" she instructed,

The woman did and checked with Gabby to see if she was doing it right.

"Great, now slide yourself down. There are big, strong firemen waiting to make sure you don't fall so don't worry. Right guys?"

She heard Herrman assure, "Right here. Hard as a rock" in his usual optimistic tone.

* * *

The woman had pushed herself enough for the guys to catch her and carry her to the ground, safe and sound.

"Ok, one out. Three to go" Casey said," whenever you're ready"

"Uhm, about that" she started.

* * *

Brett arrived, struggling to master her breathing pattern. She took the split of a second to recuperate and dashed right into the problem.

"What do we have here?" She looked at Mills, knowing he was a medic too.

"I think his blood has a hard time circulating which explains the slack limbs and white and blue skin."

"Cut him loose and have hands ready. I don't want him to fall anywhere" she said, placing her hands on both his back and stomach.

Capp started on the saw again, he tried to ignore the complains of the other victim, a few stories down.

The cable finally gave in, Mills had caught him and twisted it to another one to make sure it would go anywhere. They both helped Brett hold the victim to the stretcher.

A wound made by a cable started bleeding but Brett reacting quickly and stopped it.

"Lieutenant. The guy's out. We're bringing him down as we speak," Capp updated on his radio.

* * *

"Ok, attention everyone" Severide called out. "We're running out of time. This guy is exhausted and frankly. I'm staring to feel claustrophobic. We're all focusing on this guy. Casey and his team will worry about the elevator captives. Understood?" He ordered.

"Whatever you say Lieutenant." Clark finished securing the elevator and started toward the elevator.

"I'm going down," Severide climbed down and stayed on the edge of the wall, where the cabin sits as it stays still on each floor.

"Look, Jay. You're going to push a cable away from you. The tighter o.." Severide fell silent. A metallic buzzing indicated that something was wrong. He tried to process what was happening.

It shouldn't have happened, it couldn't. They had secured it. And yet the elevator was engaged in a rageous race toward to bottom of the building.

Severide's eyes couldn't unscrew from the racing elevator. Even the highpitched squeal resonating next to his ear didn't break his daze. A few drops projected on his face and the rusty, well known taste of blood tore him out of his stupor.

His eyes widened and his reflex was to stick his body to the wall, avoiding any rebel cables. The cables followed the insane cadence of the elevator which didn't seem to be stopping.

I hope everyone is out of there.

"Severide report" Chief Boden ordonned on the radio.

"Chief, Jay. He didn't make it. I'm good. If I don't move until the elevator stops I'm gonna be good, was everyone out?"

"Stay put" Chief Boden said.

"Chief, is everyone out?" Severide asked again.

"I. Said. Stay. Put." He ended the communication.

"Chief, Chief!"

* * *

"No,no, no, no, NO!" Casey stuttered, his voice getting louder each time.

"Dawson, are you there?" He shouted, his eyes started welling.

"hHH" her breath was all that was audible, along with the panicked screams of the men.

"Dawson! Shit. Gabby'. Did it stop?" dumb question, he knew it hadn't.

"Lieutenant," her voice trembled. " it's not stopping" you could hear the panic take control of her body.

Matt swallowed loudly, closed his eyes really hard and punched the wall. His hand hurt like hell, he took his radio again and tried one more time.

"Gabby"

"Matt," She started "Matt, I'm going to die"

His stomach sunk.

* * *

 ** _I promise I'll bring the hot, sexiness back. Just wanted some action lol._**


	3. SAFE

_**Chapter 3: SAFE**_

 _ **Previous chapter:** While on an stuck elevator Mission, Severide and Gabby got themselves into messy, dangerous situations._

Severide brushed a hand across his face in worry. Chief Boden had refused to update him on anything. Casey, Otis, Capp, no one answered his constent question. They just said "stay safe"

But what had happened? He remembered every step of the stabilizing, how could it have happened?

When he pulled his hand away from his face, he saw it. The blood, Jay's blood.

The poor man had no chance of making it out alive. His body had been pulled apart by the sudden friction of the cable. The catastrophic speed of the accident had splashed his blood all over his surroundings, thus Severide's blood shower.

"Clark, what happened? Check the stabilizing ropes, the knots. Now! It's an order" No matter how many times Severide replayed the process of getting the elevator stable. He couldn't see the flaw. The one thing that had sent everything to hell.

"You got it Lieutenant" He heard through the radio.

* * *

Gabby's heart rate quickly went from normal to tachycardia. The powerful blow of the fall violently propelled her to the corner of the confined space. The air seemed to diminish. During a small moment of lucidity, when her mind managed to escape the panick, she had talked to Casey. The terrifying thought she knew she would eventually face on the job had just hit her. And it hit her hard.

"I'm going to die" she had said over the radio, not even sure why she felt the need to announce it on the radio.

Now it all seemed trivial. The mind games, the flirty looks. The sneaky reference. What a waste of time!

 _I should have said it. I should have just fucking said it. Why the hell didn't I say it?_

She wouldn't see his eyes again. Not ever again. She would never know what it would be like to wake up next to him. To pour his coffee in the morning and make him her Gramma's blueberry pancakes, with nutmeg. What a waste. What a stupid, unfortunate waste.

He would have loved those pancakes, he would have asked for seconds. He would have walked to the store to buy more blueberries for these pancakes. It could have been great. It would have been great.

* * *

"Do something!" Casey yelled at Herrman.

Herrman's eyes widened. He'd never seen his Lieutenant like that. But again, he'd never had a coworker be trapped in a falling elevator. He nodded at the staircase and started sprinting towards it.

"The butler said it's an old building" He went through the steps two by two.

"Let's see if there's a control stick somewhere that would stop it before it hit..." he stopped, diverting his attention elsewhere "Do you think they got Jay out in time?" he asked, doing his best to not think of the worst case scenario.

"I hope so" Herrman said, avoiding eye contact.

The butler was the first person either person focused on.

"Hey. How old exactly are those elevators?" Herrman started.

"Is there a manual stick to stop the cables ourselves? People are still inside!" Casey pressed, taking no time to put it gently. "Dawson's still inside"

Boden's eyes fell to the floor.

The butler remained silent.

"Hey, you heard the Lieutenant" Herrman insisted, aggressive this time.

The butler's eyes reflected his true emotion. One a scared little buy, put on the spot would wear. They had no time for that.

Casey took a volontarily threatening step toward the boy butler. He had to talk, no matter what it took.

* * *

Gabby's head was about to explode. The terrified screams of the man beside her -while justified- hurt her ear like a bitch. The intense friction of air against the elevator already made her eardrums pops, the way flights did -Which was never a pleasant sensation-

To ease the omnipresent fear, she had asked for their names. Mr Hanging legs was now Larry and Mister Suit and Tie was now Eric. Small talk seemed out of context but Gabby saw it that way: they'd spent that less time worrying about the upcoming tragedy.

The little girl screams Eric was letting out almost erased her memory of him, earlier, bravely calming his lady friend.

But his squirrel squeals weren't the only ridiculous thing about that situation.

Pff, for goodness' sake, Gabby had been a hell of a medic'. She was now aspiring firefighter! She'd been in an ambo, saved the lives of who knew how many people. She'd fought fires, dragged burned victims out of the flames, she had survived so many risky calls. Dying on an elevator call, what a joke, what a freaking pity.

'This should be quick', yeah that's what Casey had said. He jinxed it, that's what he did. He couldn't have been more wrong.

She was a candidate, who died a candidate? Gabby couldn't think of a saddest way to die for a firefighter. After the academy, her failure at the first round. The criticism she had to face only for being a woman. After all of her hard work, it was like God, fate, the universe -whatever the heck you called it -was telling her "Good job! You're almost there. Now die"

And it simply wasn't enough. She couldn't sit back and do nothing. Gabby couldn't stand there and wait for trainwreck to happen. There had to be something...

She laid her hands flat on each wall surrounding her, and bent her knees to cushion the imminent hit from when the elevator would reach the botton floor.

Gabby looked around her to check on the remaining passengers. She was still responsible for their well being, as long as she was alive. She took a look at the hanging legs, they were quivering like leaves about to fall from a tree. In her dreams, they all walked out alive and well but as horrible as the mental images she had before her eyes were. She couldn't help but look down, biting her lower lip.

Larry had complained about rib pain, well once the elevator had reached its final destination, it would be the last of his problems.

Dawson checked on Eric, he had recreated each of her moves. From the hands on each wall to the slight bend in the knees. As though he'd been watching a falling elevator survival tutorial.

* * *

Brett, Mills and Capp joined forces to carrying the injured man down. Brett still had hope. Quick response was everything. They had been quick.

"Dawson was in there" Mills heard Casey say through the radio. "Now Serevide, stay there. You'll only get yourself killed. We're heading to the top floor to find the manual controls" Mill's head immediately raised up toward the roof and then down as to calculate the free fall of the elevator.

At the same moment, Herrman and Casey appeared in the corner heading upwards.

"Do you need me here?" He asked Brett, a rush of adrenaline showing through his face. Brett shook her head.

"Go" she allowed with sympathy.

Mills quickly made sure Capp had it covered and dodged the steps by 3 right behind his old Truck buddies.

"How many floors are there?" He asked, calculating how fast they would get there.

"31" He said, "We're at 28 so we better move it" Casey ordonned and they doubled their speed still dodging the steps by 3.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

In the control room, Casey and his men started searching the place. Too worried to look for detail, he stopped in front of a pair of sticks, one was red, the other was blue.

"Which one is it?" Casey yelled to his radio.

"What do you mean?" The butler answered in a little voice. Chief Boden had lent him the radio.

"There's a red one and a blue one. Which one should I pull?" He examined both." Wait one screws, the other's a push or pull"

After a small hesitation "The screw one"

Casey didn't hesitate, he tried to screw the small red wheel but his efforts seemed vain. The wheel circled around but he felt no push, no pull, non sign of it doing anything at all.

"How's that?" He asked, still hopeful.

"Nothing, try something else" The butler said.

"You try something else, it's you're job!" Casey barked, out of his mind.

Mills came closer, and read the labels of each handle.

"Maybe the top shieve's bad. It doesn't even seem to be connected to that red thing. Should we try the blue one?"

"I don't know"

"What do you mean you don't know? Can you help or not?" Mills asked, getting aggressive too.

"I'm doing the best I can" The butler's voice sold his distress.

"Then find someone better!" Casey yelled, his voice resonnated in the small cabin.

Herrman stood there, observing Matt's reaction. Again, he'd never seen a Lieutenant care like that for a candidate. But again, no other candidate had been in that position before that so, it could be just a Lieutenant to Candidate involvment.

Casey squatted down and put his head in his hands, grabbing his hair at the root but not pulling. Squad's help was out of the question, they had done enough. Or they hadn't, anyway, that's what got them there.

The elevator car must be awfully close to the bottom. That thought made him cringe.

"I know!" A lightening Otis said, "Let's activate the cabin's safeties."

Casey saw the light at the end of the tunnel. That didn't sound that dumb.

"Ok, how?" He said, listening again.

* * *

Gabby heard her radio again "Dawson do you copy?" chief Boden said.

"I'm here" she managed, she had to shout to be heard.

"Here's Otis. You gotta get the hanging man to push a green button. He's gotta see it somewhere"

She looked up and pinched the leg, it twiched. He was still with her. Good news.

"Ok"she confirmed to Otis "Hey Larry?" He didn't answer.

He probably couldn't hear. She pinched again and used the sides she had been leaning on to jump closer to him.

"You'll have to repeat that to him as soon as I give him the radio," She told Otis, making sure she spoke loud enough.

When he replied his ok, she jumped again and threw the radio through the small space of the elevator opening his body wasn't obstructing. She took her initial position back and hoped the radio wouldn't break.

She saw the legs move. Good sign. He pointed his foot and beat his leg in the air as to look for something stable to rest his foot. He seemed to be reaching for something. She stepped out of her position, again and pushed the legs up. She was sad to note that she wasn't really much help. Feeling her struggle, the man beside her stepped in and pushed Larry's legs up. The extra help made all the difference.

The heavy grating of the car's safeties kicking in were a painful, yet welcomed sign of their efficience.

Both Gabby and Eric covered their ears and BAM!

It all went black.

* * *

The different teams busied themselves to two different spots: With Severide, who was still between the elevator tracks. And with Gabby and the rest of the victims. Shay had called in a second ambulance. Not by pessimism but as precaution. As PIC, calls like that were up to her.

She stood still at that same spot, watching everyone work and waiting for her cue to examine Severide. Gabby would be fine, it was just an unexplanable intuition she had. She would be fine because she had to and Gabby knew it. A world without Gabriela Dawson would not be a world she'd want a part of. So Gabriela would make it. She would live, for no other reason than she had no other choice. Shay would hunt her down in the here after and kill her a second time for leaving so soon.

The fresh PIC felt her fear surface and start to send shivers down her spine but she didn't let it sink in. It wouldn't stick. It would all be fine, again, it had to be.

The second ambulance was there, she heard it on the radio. Good, now she could solely focus on Severide. Cause, you know: Gabby had to be all right.

* * *

Casey was back with the butler. The employee looked like a little boy scared of a mad parent. The Lieutenant saw that frightened, boyish butler and tried his best to shake the anger away, from his face, at least, he needed his full knowledge of the Hotel.

"Could you find out where it stopped?" He started with a slight smile. Slight but the best he could do, for now.

"I'm mean it would be nice to waste time searching each floor. You get that, right?" Herrman stepped in with a cheerful tone.

The butler looked at Herrman who played the 'Good firefighter' as opposed to Casey who played the 'Bad firefighter'.And it seemed to work.

"I think I might," He took what looked like a phone out of his butler case and drummed on it.

"Here. 2 floor" He said, with a smile, happy to finally help.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Casey was there first. Otis, second. He drilled a hole and pushed the doors apart. Casey moved closer and let his eyes sweep the place.

The hanging legs were the first thing that caught his eye but he looked off, scanning the place for one special person.

Casey's heart skipped a beat when he saw Gabby's body laying on the floor. Her eyes were closed and she didn't look conscious. He stepped in, almost in a sprint and started placing his hands beneath her fragile body to lift her up.

"Lieutenant, stop Now!"

He did, looking up at his interlocutor. He didn't recognize him, It was definetly not Mills. Red curls, pinkish skintone.

 _He must be from the second ambulance Shay called._

"You never know where she is injured. We need to transport the patient properly ,"

He knew that. he'd always known that! He looked down at Gabby, then, aggrieved, stepped out of the elevator. It was best if he let the medics do their job.

* * *

The day after that. Casey grabbed a cup of coffee, black with one sugar, the way she liked. A donut and drove to the hospital.

He entered the room, Shay gave him her back. Just as he thought he'd interrupted something, Shay kissed Gabby's cheek and said goodbye.

He smiled at Leslie as both Hello and Goodbye and gave his full attention to Gabby.

"Did Eric make it?" she asked, convinced that Larry had given his life for them. Casey shook his head, a controlled sad look on his face.

"But Larry did. He was in surgery all night be he's stable now" He said, her eyes grew in size. Sometimes the unexpected happened.

"One sugar," Changing the subject. He lifted the cup before putting it on the hospital tray in front of her.

"And a donut?" she asked.

"Not just a donut" he qualified, she looked a question at him. "The donut you sneakily ate in the truck, thinking I couldn't see you"

"You saw that?" He laughed, nodding "I thought I was being so badass and all"

"Well you failed" He confirmed, still laughing. She joined and pushed on her hands to sit up. He motioned toward her to offer some help but she had done it without him.

She grabbed the cup of coffee, "Why didn't you say anything?" she asked.

He smoothed the back of his hand with his thumb to calm his nerves. "Cause you were cute, struggling to eat it discreetly" He admitted, he sipped his coffee and smiled, revealing his teeth.

She laughed again, but this time it was out of shame. She looked up at him again, struggled to hold eye contact and thought about the time she'd spent in that elevator. About how in the face of death her first thought, her first regret had been about him. Or rather, about not having told him.

Only fools refused to learn from their mistakes. Wasn't that a saying somewhere? It should be.

He stood there and suddenly decided to sit on the edge of the bed. He placed a hand on her unbrushed hair and gently smoothed the thin flyaways.

She took a deep breath, mustering her strength for the big reveal.

"Matt, I.."

His lips shut her up. Her heart rate could raise the roof. Shivers crossed her arms as her lips moved accordingly. He turned around, slightely and grabbed the sides of her body, pulling her in onto his lap. Their lips separated, each mouth eager for more. His gaze magneted to her lips her eyes sunk in his burning orbs. The wait wasn't long but felt eternal, before their lips locked again.

And again.

* * *

 ** _I really hope you liked it. Stay tuned my little brain's got things in store for you. Tell me what you thought of it. I told you I had hotness in store and I still have more, no worries guys, you'll get your fix here to get you by until November ^^._**


	4. Hands and Mouths

_**Hands and mouths**_

Mouch sat on the couch and put his second ball of chips on his lap, grabbing the remote in the process. The voices of his collegues in the background invaded his ears, leaving no space for his TV. He slightely turned around, too comfortable to actually turn to them.

"Shhh!" he groaned.

A loud giggle disturbed him again, he couldn't hear what Pablo was about to tell Josefina. Would he at last tell her he loved her?

The moment was gone, Josefina was crying. Was it a happy cry or a sad cry? He would never know, he pressed the rewind button and braced himself for that moment. That giggle again, at the exact key moment. He rewinded it again and grabbed the huge bowl with both hands pressing it upwards against his chest.

"No way!" "You're lying!" "Get out!" They shouted, their voices mashing like a broken tune.

"You get out!" He snapped,

Gabby, Mills and Cruz turned to him, "What's wrong? No calls so far, aren't we allowed to celebrate?" she said,

"No, no, no!" Herrman complained and Gabriella already regretted her words.

The alarm rang.

"Jinx!" Otis pointed at Gabby.

"Pff" Cruz dragged his feet behind his bestie.

All in uniform, they ran to their truck, Dawson stretched a hand before her to get some help but no support came. She blew out her frustration and grabbed the sides of the truck doorframes to pull herself in.

She found a spot just big enough to fit her small, athletic frame and sat. Her thigh collided with Cruz's and he immediately moved it away.

"The Jinx doesn't touch the Cruz" he held his hands out as a shield.

Gabby looked at Herrman, he shrugged "Boundaries, Candidate, gotta respect'em" he enunciated as if it were a golden rule.

Arms crossing over her chest she heard Otis go on and on about it.

"There always, ALWAYS has to be a dumbass to jinx a calm day"

The dumbass in question, her. _Great, my first month as candidate's really going great._

Truck 81 and ambulance 61 had been called to a fire at the theater on Oak Street.

Casey closed the door behind him and twisted his torso to the side to look at his crew. He grabbed the side of the driver's seat. Unaware of the Jinx curse that Gabby seemed to have triggered.

"Guys, I know we had a pretty lazy day but now we need our full focus. You got me?"

"Yes, Lieutenant" She says, forcing herself not to look at the furious eyes of her collegues.

"Lots of people are still inside so we need focus, velocity at a clear mind." His eyes swept the truck and stopped at a few pissed off stares " Whatever animosity I'm feeling in here" He drew his hand in front of the stares " it's gone, understood?" No reply "Understood?" his voice got strict, the guy mastered authority. That was hot.

"You got it Lieutenant" Herrman was first to break the silence of the firemen, followed by Cruz, and Otis, the last one agreeing reluctantly.

At the scene of the fire, smoke of a medium shade of gray streamed off the roof of the building. People were coming out, huffing, coughing, crying and screaming. No time for Jinx stories, this was real life.

A primary instinct threw her to the wounded. A woman, badly burnt on her shoulder, arm and leg of the same side and a small child sat next to her. Hysterical, he didn't pronounce any coherent word. His guttural screams and panicked tears formed a heavy knot on her stomach. How did they get out?

First step, help the hurt. Protect, then calm the kid. She almost reached for her first aid kit when she realized she had no more.

 _Not a medic anymore. Right._

"Dawson we need help inside!" Cruz yelled, holding a heavy weight with Clarke, "You're a firefighter or what?"

 _Firefighter. Right. Think as one, live as one and you'll become one. You gotta believe it_. She snapped out of her daze and nodded at the door, she called Shay and gestured toward the two injured people. When help got here she moved, faster than she thought she would. Blood pumped through her veins, the adrenaline, use it Gabby, feed from it. She ran behind Cruz and made sure everyone was at safe distance as they kicked the doors in.

 _If the doors were closed how did the two people I saw earlier get out?_

 _There might be another way in than through those doors, one that would help a lot of people in less time._ She turned around, spotted Shay and ran back there.

"Dawson!" She could hear Cruz swear again.

 _Screw you, I'm a hell of a firefighter!_ She pushed herself to the ground next to the woman, her body was twitching, Dawson knew breathing must have took effort but she had to speak.

"Where did you come from? Miss, miss. I'm sorry but you can't rest yet"

"Hah, uhhm" She tried.

"What was that?" Gabby encouraged

"Bathroom window. Luke wanted to pee"

She felt her lips stretch into a smile and a chuckle came out "He might have saved your lives, stay strong!" She tapped Shay's shoulder, sending her support to both and ran back to her crew.

"Two people came out of a bathroom window. It could lead to a theater room faster than the main entrance. I think we should send two teams, one through each entrance."

Cruz looked at Clarke as to consult his take on it, he shrugged and Herrmit came out of the flames holding a teenager.

"What'ya waiting for, this thing's like a human barbecue. Get your asses to work!"

"Clarke, follow Herrman, Dawson and I will take the bathroom"

"Move it!" Herrman yelled, speaking to all of them.

She haden't seen Casey out in a while. A big while. She looked at Shay and followed the finger she pointed the window with.

It was 5 feet above the ground. A bit too high to access easily.

"Dawson, Hand-ladder" He ordonned, since when did he make the rules again? She would have objected, but saw no better alternative.

She solid joined her hands together and held them high enough to be used as a jumpstart. He raised his eyebrows, something she only got when he separated his own fingers.

"You first" she said, refusing to admit aloud that she wouldn't have been strong enough to pull him in once there.

His foot sat on her hands and she tensed her biceps, struggling to offer enough support for a guy of his built. He pulled his body up with unexpected ease and in a matter of seconds, seemed to have his arms ready for her.

The black smoke created a heavy cloud that covered the whole room and left little to no visibility. She forced on her eyes to make out her surroundings and cautious but nervous to be quick, they called out.

"Fire department, call out!" She heard him scream.

Nobody is here, dead or alive so she moved faster toward the door. Once opened She saw a hoard of people on the floor, coughing their lungs out right outside the theater rooms. She looked at Cruz and gestured him to the right, she squatted down in front of a man and his mother, probably watching the newest Meryl Strip movie, too bad it ended this way.

The woman was passed out on the floor, about 65, the man didn't seem far from going there also. She pushed on his arm and shook to awaken him.

"Follow me" she screamed. She grabbed the woman by her wrists and dragged her body toward the door. The bathroom window was closer but it wouldn't do. She passed other people and told the ones able to walk to follow along. Casey painfully dragged a young woman, he hadn't stopped ever since he'd first came in. At least he was still standing.

The people behind her started running and screaming to the front, oblivious to any injured people they could walk all over. She felt a ball of anger form at the very spot the heavy knot had been.

They got out but their panick seemed to multiply at the sight of the gathering of the neighbors, firefighter trucks and news reporters. Out the door she tried to get the hang of either Brett or Shay but both their hands were tied with other vitims. Another ambulance came in, followed by truck 35,

 _what are they doing here? We've got this!_

Their leutenant seemed to be giving orders, she slowed her pace down, trying to make out his words. Their ambulance team ran toward her and took charge of the 3 people still following her.

"Dawson, go back inside!" Bowden said, she could tell by his eyes, it was an order.

"A lot of people came out running, they should be looked at"

Casey was out now, handing over the people he'd had helped. He looked at her and his expression was hard to decipher. Fires like that, they didn't leave you intact.

Burnt skin, coughing people, crushed people. Screams for help, cries of loss and chaos pushing people in every direction, it all could get so overwhelming.

 _No thinking just doing._

She dived back inside, grabbed the first person she saw and dragged them outside. Mouch came out holding a little girl, she ran toward him and could see that something had embedded onto her skin. Some kind of melted plastic, the little girl was passed out, lucky for her. At least she didn't see that, she would on the other hand be scarred for life.

Shay, Brett and the other ambo' teams had long, suffering faces. There were too many people, they needed help, it was a fact. They needed her. The theater was empty, there was no harm in staying and helping the ambo, was there?

She walked confidently to Casey and prepared to ask persmission to stay outside,

"Dawson, Otis get the water" He said, he turned the other way and discussed a technique with Bowden and Cruz.

She stayed a second longer trying to get his attention. Otis had already moved accordingly to the order, he turned back,

"You comin' o'what?" he asked, his hands giving away his impatience.

"yep'" She ran to the truck and help unroll the big tube, part of her wished she had been holding another type, way smaller type of tube. She grabbed the end and connected it to the waterfountain. She waited for the signal through radio and sent the water.

A second after the water started flowing, a bursting sound startled her and the people were hit by a new wave of pure chaos, this was going to be a long day. A window blew up and flames came flooding out, licking the walls and shattering the glass on their way.

Casey was still inside, Gabby looked at Bowden and he was busy screaming inside his radio, probably requesting some news. She ran close enough to the building she could feel the heat of the flames lick her face.

"DAWSON!" She heard Bowden snap,

She ignored the calls and tried her best to have a good glance inside. The window she stood beside had just been shattered and she was confident she would see the flames before they could attain her. Casey was inside, he might have been needing her help, she couldn't be useless. That wasn't her job.

A fireman came out dragging someone else on the way. It was a uniform, Only Herrman and Casey had had enough time to get inside. The question was, who dragged who?

Afraid to find out, she still however, sprinted over to her two male homologues.

"What happened? " she asked, her hand distractedly feeling her neck for her stetoscope. Her heart slowed down and the city seemed to be moving in slowmotion the moment her eyes laid on Casey's, shut, it sucked the life out of her.

"We were sending the water but something blew up and Casey got hit by a loose piece of the rooftop. It fell over his casque but he collapsed instantly.

She checked his pulse immediately, first response was his best chance. The moves she had been trained for, the ones she had done so much they now were second nature, the same moves she had saved so many lives with came back naturally. She knew what to do, what to do it with and when to do it. What a pity to be giving that up. Jumping in a flaming house, that was an unprecedented feeling, but feeling the heartbeat of a man after you've felt it stop was its own kind of unfathomable. What a shame to be limited to one occupation when both gave so much. Had she decided well ? Or had the academy detected her lack of involvment at her first try? Thus the failure at the test. It all seemed plausible.

Was it her place to act, to save anymore? Who was she if not the one to maintain life even when it only holds to a thread? Was she Gabby Dawson if she no longer reassured and relieved victims of their pain? Firefighters did little to nothing about pain. They had no time for emotions, no time to appease only to deliver the sick and the injured. Did she want to relieve or did she want to deliver? There seemed to be a fine line between to two, but a line nonetheless. One that linked two professions by their similarities but separated their ambitions. On the life saving spectrum, where did she belong?

But Casey was there, in need of help, her eyes met Herrman's. Had it been enough for him to pull his Lieutenant out? He'd come out and looked for help. Had delivering been enough for him? His eyes said no.

Guilt imposed itself in her head as she realized that she hadn't been solely focused on the problem. She'd let her head wander in places that wouldn't help Casey, or anyone else for that matter.

No way! She couldn't be helpless. That wasn't her job.

She layed Casey flat on his back and listened for his breath.

Non exitant. Quick response, as always, she started compressions and blew two mouthfuls of air in his mouth every 30 compressions. Herrman ran to an ambo' alerting of the endangered fireman's life.

Seconds passed.

Why wasn't he breathing again? Compressing, mouth to mouth, compressing, listening for heartbeat, feeling for a pulse, compressing, mouth to mouth. As went the never ending cercle of saving lives. Devastation settled inside of her, this would be their relationship all along, him saving her from a free falling elevator, her compressing his chest after he'd forgot to look after himself for the common good. How could they be when sacrificing themselves would involve another person? When their personnal sacrifice would be a conscious sacrifice of their loved ones as well?

Well below, underlying was a regovirating pleasure. The thrill to be striving for someone else's life, the uncertainty of getting it back and the power her banal looking hands were given at that moment. Soft skin and five fingers, painted fingernails came in a quasi symetric pair. Nothing special, just hands, the same she used to eat, the same she turned to for touch. The ones she used to grab her purse and put her lipstick on. Just hands, there was nothing crazy about hands.

And it seemed surreal that these same hand were given such power. Surreal and unreal but what was more real than life and death? What had more impact on Casey's life than her banal looking hands? If she stopped compressing his chances at life would be null, but if she kept them going. If she maitained a motion so rehearsed, so second nature, then he might live, and if the mouth she used for speaking kept blowing air into the one he used to save lives, then he may live. And if she repeated the two motions long enough than hopefully it meant that he must live. Because that was the point after all. He must live.

Seconds passed.

The underlying won the battle, surface emotions were after all just there, on the surface. They screamed to your brain and demanded attention, they expected to control your every move. But they were weak emotions in a strong emotion desguise. They didn't last, they only had the power you gave them. So Gabby gave them none. She shut them down and took control because her every move were his every chance.

Shay finally glanced at them, the ground had been invaded by hurt people and now was the only free moment she had had ever since her ambulance had stopped there. Days like these could never be expected, their darkness followed you, no matter how strong-minded, with each intervention, you carried a little more weight. So you piled it on and shoved it in the back of your mind, you made sure it was locked and feared the moment it would all come raging back. But you didn't want to stop the process, you didn't want to walk alway from that life. Somehow you just knew; sometimes you had to sacrifice a bit of yourself to give another their best chance at life. That was what it took and it was fine. Inconsiderate, completely selfless and emotionnally devastating but in the grand scheme of things, it was fine.

Leslie threw a leg before the other and hurried to use that leg as leverage to close the distance between her and the Lieutenant in seconds. She expected tears in Gabby's eyes but detected none, Dawson just seemed focused. Perfectly guiding her hands on his chest, almost mechanically repeating the life saving process.

And finally he coughed. Gabby's hands relaxed and her endorfines flooded her brain. What a day. Shay waited for the stretcher and sent Casey on the first available ambulance.

Dawson looked around her, the fire still ate away the walls of the theater but less people needed help. And now her urge was to put the fire out.

Gabriela Dawson, Chicago Firefighter.

Gabriela Dawson, Chicago Paramedic.

Who the hell was she?

* * *

In the hospital bed that same night, he slept, peacefully. Out of the woods, the Doctor's words to describe him.

Gabby sat on his bedside and waited for these orbs to transcend her the way they did.

"Hello sunshine." He said and for a second Gabby wondered if he remembered.

"We have to stop seeing each other like that" she smiled, but raw, the truth can be a joke.

"But that's the only way we do. See each other" he had a point.

"Oh. You got yourself in here so you could see me? C-"

"Cute?" he cut her off with puppy like eyes.

"Creepy" she corrected but ornated her word with a low chuckle, almost under her breath.

"Maybe we should. See each other. I mean, outside these depressing white walls"

"I'm sorry Lieutenant what was that?" she laughed

"Gabby!" he scolded,

"I'm kidding, why not?"

"Why not" he repeated.

Bowden came in, checking in after the long day.

* * *

 _ **So what did you think? I know it was a long time coming but I hope the quality of the chapter makes up for the wait. Please comment, I love reading your opinions. Do you think the career path doubts blended in nicely?**_


	5. Slow

_**Ok, Ok! It took a while but something tells me you'll love the chapter. Please comment I'd like to know your opinion on it.**_

 _ **Slow**_

 _ **Gabriella Dawson's apartment.**_

Today had felt like living in a bubble. Day off from the firehouse, she woke up at 8 and went out for a run to work out the excitation on the day awaiting her. Positive excitation that was, a well deserved positive excitation for that matter. Even when the cold water hit her bed face, the bubble wouldn't burst. Even when her neighboor complained about her TV making too much noise, the bubble wouldn't burst. And even when she dropped half a cup of salt in her bolognaise sauce, it wouldn't burst. It tasted like she was eating underwater, but it was still okay. That's how that day felt, how she'd imagined it to feel.

After a long bath, she took the time to exfoliate and then mosturize. Strawberry scented products were akin to godsent as they reinforced the bubble sensation. Excitement came again as she pictured the outfit she would go for to turn his head. How crazy was it that she was there preparing for a date with her Lieutenant? She got to ask herself questions like what lipgloss he'd like, which dress would lit his eyes and what topics he'd like to discuss.

And that was a good question though, what would they talk about? What if this well expected date turned out to be ... Boring? And she felt everything come crashing down around her. The bubble threatened to pop. Quick Gabby, stay in the zone. Keep it going. Think about something else. Something good.

Midnight red, that's the gloss she'd wear, he would look at her and he'd be glad he asked her out. He'd wonder why he hadn't done it earlier. That was what would happen.

Make up; done. Hair: done. Outfit: to be chosen. Black or blue dress? Bodycon or loose fit? Loose fit, who was she, a nun? This was a date! Bodycon it would be.

The classic little black dress, flirty, sexy and the not-trying-too-hard outfit. Perfect.

Her phone rang. It was him, she grabbed the phone, held it to her ear with her shoulder and grabbed her purse. She threw a quick glance at the mirror and puckered her lips around a finger to remove the Midnight red excess. Out the door she was.

There he was. Deep gray slim fit shirt, a dark black blazer and the eyes of a walking firework to dress it all up. They shone so bright and suddenly the hours she'd spent preparing for it were worth it.

"Ready to eat m'Laday?" he forced an accent as he gentlemanly kissed her hand.

She giggled at the cheesy act. "Starving 'Muh mister" she attempted, cringing at how lame it sounded.

He made a face "Neh, you could have done better"

"Agreed"

He smiled and led her over his forearm and they started to the car. Gabby kept wishing for someone to pinch her. It almost felt like an out of body experience except she looked at the scene from her body. It was the feelings that felt a mile away. Like wrapped up in a box somewhere. But she would open the box, right? It would all be fine.

In the restaurant, her eyes kept getting bigger. Every second brought a surprise. Indian cuisine in a traditionnal decor. The walls were in marble, gilded moldings of oriental patterns ornated the immaculate rooftop. Each table was covered in an embroided red and gold table sheet and the glasses were expertly placed on both ends. Gosh even the chairs were masterpieces! Handmade embellishments carved the rustic wood with the precision only a dedicated pair of hands could deliver. The wonders of colours and scents did nothing short of immersing her in the culture. Spice scented incents sticks burned nearby which sent her nostrils in heaven.

Speechless from the start she had just be talking it all in. So that was it. Dating Lieutenant Casey was far from her dreams, in a good way. And that was not the best. She felt like she had been walking through India as she walked across the restaurant. Too distracted by the many wonders she encountered she forgot the whole purpose of that place: food. A table, that's where they were going. So where was it?

A balcony awaited straight ahead, her smile grew wider as she started to put the pieces together. They were eating outside. He went out first and helped with the step. The night sky offered a clear view on the stars it housed, some brighter than others. The crescent moon shone above the terrace as to witness her magical moment. But, better yet, the terrace overlooked the Chicago bridge and lake. Her home as she'd never seen it.

"Wow" she finally spoke her eyes didn't leave the water. She let her gaze venture the subtle reflection of the moonlight and the light from the bridge

"As you said." He kept his orbs on her "you look stunning".

She smiled with her teeth "Thanks" and sat at the table.

"So apparently, you jinxed the day?" he said all teases.

And the discussion went on about how the jinx wasn't intentionnal. How Mouch had been a consistent buzz kill.

"His show isn't even telenovela good" he laughed

"What, you know it?"

"I'm their Lieutenant, I know a lot I'd like not to"

"Hey, when did this jinx rumor thing even start?"

He stopped as he was about to take a sip of his glass of whine and frowned.

"No-one told you?" he said as though it were incredible.

She shook her head.

He bent toward her and invited her to lean in as well.

"It started one cold winter night" his voice was warm with a hint of mystery " But let me give you some backstory first" she nodded "The afternoon was dead silent, no cat stuck in a tree, no blocked elevator, nothing"

"A perfect day" he nodded in agreement

"The whole team enjoyed their bags of chips in front of the Chicago bulls game. It was a calm day at the house just how we like'm"

"And" her eyes widened in suspens

"The game was good, the lakers were leading 2 to.."

"Matt!" she circled her hand

"The night fell, a biting cold came with it. They were all gathered in the kitchen drinking coffee and having a nice time. Off at midnight, that's a rare thing. No calls for 36 hours. It felt like a dream. But on that horrible night."

"That build up though. Spil the beans, I wanna know"

"Shhh! You're ruining the atmosphere."

She giggled and focused again, a finger on cealing her lips.

"October 5th, 11:45 pm" He said with the horror story voice again "They could almost taste their freedom. They heard birds sing and saw butterlies everywhere. It had been a good day. Up until that dreadful incident. The one that changed everything. A curse darkening the brightest days" He talked with his hands. "The whole day everything had been perfect, except for one guy, everything he was told to, he did wrong. Mopping the floor: the secretary slipped and almost broke a leg. Cooking dinner: He put a handful of salt instead of a pinch. Practicing: he slammed his hammer 2 milimeters away from his lieutenant's face. It was almost as if he had been " he held his palm upwards the tip of his fingers pointing at Gabby.

"Jinxed" she completed, "but that doesn't say how it happened"

"Be patient. I had to set the mood first"

"Uhuh?" she smiled, he responded showing his teeth

"11H50, 51, 52 it all went so slow. They all sat, on the floor, on the couch, keeping their eyes peeled for the liberating moment. 56, 57; Still no alarm, no call for the team, 58. 2 more minutes and there it was, they could all go home. But then the jinx got up and screams _No calls for the shift, champaign's on me!_ And the alarm screams not even a second after that.

She burst out laughing and even had to put down her food.

"What?" he asked half joining in

"That was so bad!" she laughed again "All that build up"

"What? I'm a good storyteller!"

She laughed even harder "Yeah, yeah you are" and and giggle followed, this time he laughed too.

After dinner they decided to take a walk, neither ready to cut the evening short. He put his hands in his pockets and she rubbed her arm, flipping her hair out of her face. Sexy black dress but not very warm. The wind brushed through her face, forming tears in her eyes and she tried to look at his eyes.

"You cold?" He said, taking off his blazer without taking the time to hear her answer.

"You don't have to do that," she looked for a tissu in her bag.

He looked at her eyes "Yes I do" he placed the blazer over her shoulders and delicately placed a kiss on her head.

She walked and bit her lip as to hold in the words begging to come out. He saw that, loved that expression on her face.

She finally met his eye, "ok what's the catch?"

Caught off guard, he almost startled "What do you mean?"

She shrugged "the fancy dinner, the charming story, the romantic walk by the water. Where does it go wrong?"

"Why would it go wrong?"

She shrugged again "I just want this night to stay as is: Perfect"

He sighed in relief "Me too," he stopped and got closer to her, she stopped on the spot, under the streetlight. The beam on light kissed her face, showcasing her golden skintone and the lucious lip color she'd picked. Her eyes had never been that way, vulnerable with a hint of bold. Tender but full of desire. And at that moement he wanted his blazer off her shoulders, he wanted her dress on the floor and her shoes in the water. But that would not happen so soon. He would make sure to keep her comfortable. He would ensure it was what she wanted too.

But would a kiss be alright? All the signs pointed positive. She looked ravishing as always, she had not once broken eye contact. He could go for it.

He leaned it, preparing his lips for the pucker but hers met them with such passion he took no time to think. The soft caress of her mouth sent shivers down his back. His hand cupped her shoulder and the other one brushed through her hair. She pulled herself in onto his chest, the warmth of his body only brought her closer, she folded her arms over his chest letting her hands rest on his shoulders for a moment. She then flew them to his neck to pull him in for another taste as they broke the kiss. He grinned under her lips and surrendered to her wishes. His lips synced up with her as he felt her body tremble under his touch. Unsure of what it meant, he offered to get in the car.

He grabbed her hand and slowly led her to the car, smiling at the perfection of the moment. She also smiled like an idiot. The kind of idiocy she could get used to. He accompanied her to her seat, opening the door for her. She refused to get inside and looked at him with seductive eyes.

"Ok!" He headed to the driverseat "But it's your loss, I've got a heating system integrated"

"Yeah, I gathered" she said a finger in her mouth. When did she get so naughty?

He laughed and sat behind the wheel? She got in the car as he turned the heat on literally And figuratively. His eyes gazed at her neck as she watched them follow the trail of her cleavage. She cupped his face and pulled him in toward her she kissed down his neck and enjoyed hearing his heart beat faster. Her hands felt like feathers rushing through his body. She left his begging for more as she took the caress away, her lips slipped between his in a heartbreaking separation. Her head now rested on the seat-pillow, her breath was loud and her finger danced on her neck and collarbone.

"Why'd you stop?" he whispered, in a transe. The burning pupils were back and they raged harder this time.

"I'm trying to calm down. I wanted to take it slow" she struggled to catch her breath.

"We can do that" he answered holding on to the feeling of ecstasy running through his veins.


	6. Deliver the victims

**Chapter 6:** Deliver the victims.

Gabriella took a turn to the left with her car on the way to work for a small detour. A cup of chai latte couldn't hurt anyone, right? Neither could drinking it with your taking-it-slow Lieutenant boyfriend. The detour was just an excuse to see him and the chai latte, well, let's call it a bonus.

She parked on the worst parking spot possible after touring the parking lot and pushed the Starbucks doors open. He was already there, waiting for his order. His blank expression turned into a heartwarming smile when he saw her.

"Hey there, waiting on someone?" she said, taking her spot in the line.

"No, no. Just having coffee in the morning. You know. As you do."

Her lips stretched and she leaned in for a kiss.

« Cassy ? » The startbucks lady shouted holding a pumkin pie latte.

He turned toward her and apologized his way through the line.

« That 's mine. It was Casey by the way. » the lady smiled barely even faking interest « Cause you said Cassy »

« Oh. 7.99. Please. Casey. » she held her hand out. He grabbed his wallet and looked at her expression. The classic ain't-nobody-got-time-for-ya' look cashiers and receptionnist have in common. Seems like the more people you see, the less you like them.

Cackling behind him pulled him out of his thoughts. Gabby stood behind, struggling to keep her laughter to herself.

He paid for his pumkin pie latte and she paid for her chai latte. They took the time to sit at the best table and immediately, he broke the silence.

« Whatever happened last shift » his smile disappeared, wrinkles formed on his forehead.

Her eyes got sucked down on the table, she took the lid off her drink and slid her finger on the round rim on the plastic cup.

« I I I » she mumbled « I don't know. I guess I just » she swallowed « I just looked for my place » she cover her mouth with her palm, her fingers rested on her cheek.

« Do you regret becoming a firefighter ? »

« No no no ! » she corrected, « Of course not. Being a medic felt like a part of me. So you know. It's. Pff I don't know. Hard to let go. »

« So why did you take it ? The firefighter test I mean ? »

She shook her head « It just felt right. »

He blew on his latte « Then what's holding you back ? »

She let out a long sigh, her hand looked for an escape. Too many questions she wasn't prepared for . Her phone, that could be her escape. She turned on the screen and took a quick glance at the time. By chance, they needed to hurry.

« Ohh, gotta go » She said, hiding her relief. She grabbed her coat and turned her head away.

« To be continued » he said, her eyes fled his and she moved her hands from her pockets to her chest to her pockets again.

He quickly placed a soothing hand of her arm. « Gabby. I 'm not just your lieutenant. You can talk to me. You know that, right ?»

These words seemed to apease her , she thanked him under her breath and hurried to her car. He followed and shouted

« Do you like Zombie movies ? »

« Love'em » she got in the car.

The cars parked and the alarm rang. Truck, Squad. Ambo all in one call.

« Right on time » Otis said looking at Casey. Herrman watched, alternating between Gabby and Matt. They rushed to the dressing room and took their seats in the truck. A train accident.

Severide and his team led the house to the accident spot. Severide and Casey went ahead the evaluate the situation and start making decisions on how to handle the accident.

A train had entered the wrong rail and slammed into the incoming one, making both burst into flames.

«Who's still in there ? »

« Which rail is it ? »

« Are there survivers ? »

«How long ago did it happen ? »

«Lieutenants ! One question at a time. » Bowden ordonned.

The train station employee looked in a transe. « It all went Kaboom ! Suddenly there were people everywhere. I asked a girl what happened and she said black smoke was coming out of the underground rails. Nobody went down there. The manager and my boss immediately called security to make sure no one could go down there anymore. »

« Good initiative » Bowden congratulated

His head gave a quick nod «The worst thing is only a 50 people came back up, this is a bad day »

« wait, only 50? How many people are still under there ?» Lieutenant Severide asked.

« 400 » He gulped, ready to puke. « It's the Highschool Cheerleading and Football Championships, this year the state decided to send people by train. They were too many for the buses »

Casey bit his lip hard « So you're telling me every person caught in there. They're all kids ? »

« And teachers, but yeah, mostly »

Severide and Casey glanced at each other «We get everybody out. No soul left behind »

« No sweat wasted » Casey finished.

They ran to their respective crews.

« Listen up. There are about 400 people trapped in there. All highschool kids heading to a championship. We need all your focus so no excuses, I want your exclusive attention aimed at the victims » Casey's gaze swept through the crew members but lingered on one. Gabriella Dawson.

« Go go go ! » Severide and Clark headed downstairs, turning their cask lamps on.

Gabby fixed her gear and took her first step towards the scene, she took a second to blow her nerves out and headed off.

A firm hand stopped her pace, it took her a second to realize who it was. Casey sunk his orbs deep into hers.

"You got it firefighter?"

Her eyes briefly fled his before confidently maintaining the communication. Her heartrate doubled with her answer.

"I'm good, Lieutenant"

He seemed to scan for a sign of weakness but her face remained focused. Showing her determination to keep her mission in mind. He tapped her shoulder and told her to follow him.

Casey's crew went down the stairs but the even feable light of their cask showed they wouldn't go far like that.

"Where's Severide? We need to get the rubbles out of the way if we plan on going in."

The ruins of the roof formed a big pile of stones and dust so thick even the sparse holes they found gave view to other piles of stones and cement dust.

Otis, Pratt and Casey all started picking off the stones one by one and putting them on the side and behind them.

"Wait, wait. What are you doing?" Gabby asked after watching them do.

"Mhh. Makin' room to the other side, candidate. We've got no time, don't stay there drinking tea while the grown ups are working. Y'a comin' ?" Herrman joined in followed by Severide and his team.

Several piles of rubble formed here and there surrounding the firemen and Gabby was now helping.

"Guys, we need a plan for the rubbles otherwise we'll just lock ourselves in." She shouted already organizing her part.

Severide slowed down and examined the piles, they were close to building a wall, that was true.

"Guys, she has a point." He said,

Casey, at the base of the rubbles wall was lifting the rocks and passing them on to Otis,who passed them to Cruz ,who was in charge of putting them out of the way. Matt never took the time to check where the rubbles went. The mountain ahead got his full attention.

"Makes sense. Cruz, get that right!" He ordonned

"Let's just put them on both sides, and some squad guys could collect them and throw them out of the way."

"Got it? Mills, with me, we're getting going next door."

Casey focused on his rubble and everyone picked their share off, until the mountain reduced to a hill.

Mills ran by Kelly with no idea of where he was being taken. They got out of the train station and ran towards a construction store.

"Makes sense" He said, chuckling.

"Convenient, ha?" He laughed in relief

"And I never liked construction" Mills joked before pushing the door open.

Severide immediately presented himself.

"Fire departement. I need a transpalet for the train accident at the station. The roof collapsed and we need to get to the victims."

"Hey. Gary! Some jerks trynna steal ya' stuff!"

Severide frowned at the guy and stomped forward. "Look, I've got no time for your crap. I'll repeat myself once and that's it. Fire department, I need a transpalet for the train accident right across the street."

"What you screaming about Carl?" Shouted the other guy, appearing from the back.

Kelly attempted a smile and forced his voice down " Hi. Lieutenant Severide. Fire department. A transpalet now!" His glare was firm but not threatening. Mills stood still, shoulders squared , quietly weighing in on the request.

Two piles of rubble followed each wall to the main hall. The way was now clear for the crew to get in, Casey wasted no time before jumping in, shouting away his orders to Otis and the rest. Moved by the general energy, Dawson fastened her pace, preparing for hard work.

"Remember, quick but don't half ass it. Last thing we need's people crushing each other," Herrman said, addressing his candidate.

She smiled and nodded in appreciation of Herrman's "teachable moments".

The floor was filled with dust and quandtity of other undetermined garbage Gabby couldn't make sense of. She heard mumbling, the sound their feet made as they walked on in search for survivors.

"Fire department, call out!" They said simultaneously, spontaneously taking on different directions.

The light coming from her cask barely allowed her to see 3 feet in front of her, she screwed up her eyes and saw what looked like a cardigan. A very dusty, ashy colored cardigan maybe its owner was near.

She placed her leg forward to take a step and applied pressure. A crushing sound followed, not the same type as earlier, that sound was different. She closed her eyes as to ignore her instincts. And like an alarm, it froze her. A scream. Raw pain that confirmed the instinct she fought.

Gabby looked down with a rare hesitation. Her leg no longer supported her. A searing pain crushed her chest. She only felt herself go down in town to cushion her fall.

By chance, she hadn't hurt anyone else. Ignoring the demeaning voice in her head, she brushed off all the stuff that covered the man she had stepped on.

"Sir, I am sooo sorry. Are you ok?" She palpated his other limbs to check for fractures. "Tell me, where does it hurt?"

"Where do you think it hurts? You fucking destroyed my arm!"

She fought the voice again "I know I didn't see you down there. Before I did that to your arm. Were you hurt?"

"My arm hurts, my arm. It's my arm that hurts"

She took a breath" Look, what's you're name?"

"Adam"

"Adam, I am truly sorry. But now you have to answer my questions so I can help you ok?"

He looked at her, blew out"No, I just felt too heavy to get up."

She nooded "I'll check for feeling in your lower body"

"I got one thing that's still working, know what I mean?" He forced a seductive voice.

She pinched and was glad to observe great reflexes for both legs. She ran a quick check on his torso, shoulders and back to evaluate whether or not getting him up would be a good idea.

She had to take care of that arm. Her eyes swiped her surrounding and stopped at the cardigan again.

Dusty, that could be dangerous. She examined his amr again, this time looking for a cut. His fracture had stayed in, good news. Now she only one thing.

"Hey, Adam, do you have something long and hard I can use?"

His half closed eyes suddenly opened "Yeah I do, in my lower body. F'ya know what I mean."

"Yeah" she said, still looking.

"Oh come on, you gave me that one" He laughed.

Unsure of how to react, she let out a giggle. "Yeah, I guess,"

"I got a ruler in my school bag, right here" he showed her his bag.

She held the ruler straight against his arm and teared a sleeve off that cardigan. She wrapped his arm straight, leaving the ruler for support, and took the second sleeve, to be safe.

"Adam, do you feel good enough to stand and walk? I'll help."

He cringed in pain as he sat up " Yeah, I'm out of here" She placed a careful hand under his shoulder and wrapped his broken arm around hers to rest it on top of her other hand. Making sure it wouldn't suffer more damage.

Using his strength and hers, she managed to haul him up to his feet, she placed the cask over his head, realizing he was taller and would thus provide better lighting. She led him out, grabbed her cask and let the medics take care of him.

She stood there for the flash of a second as her hand struggled to let Adam go.

She jumped back in, leading several people out. Efficient, clear goal, precise motions. Her job, nothing more, nothing less. It was good enough. Rescuing is a team job, I'm doing my part, I have to let them do theirs.

Going in, finding people, leading them out to get help. That was enough. Going in, finding people, delivering them to the medics. That should be enough. Running in, spotting hurt people, pulling them out of there. Why wasn't it enough?

Later Gabby, people need you now. You'll figure that out later.

Over and over, the cycle went on until her legs felt shaky but even then, the firefighter won. Through doubt, through exhaustion, stopping was never an option.

The cracking sound Adam's arm made came back to her, making her cringe. She heard Casey's voice in the distance and quick steps coming from every side. She snapped out of her daze and ran the same direction as her teammates.

The rubble had almost entirely been cleared out by Mills in a transpalet. Could that guy do ANYTHING?

Casey was inside a train car, she could see him try to lift different things that ended up being too heavy. He took no time to wipe off the sweat dripping from his forehead. Unsteady, his cask moved back and forth with every motion. His showed his teeth but in no smile, more as a tell for his effort. The ran toward the car and the more steps she took the better she saw the whole picture.

Casey was in the unsteady train car that had crashed onto the other. There was only dust left of the other car, the rest, she figured, must have been the rubble Construction Mills had cleared out. The accident had been so violent most of the blood had turned into a reddish mud and the bodies of the people who weren't lucky enough to survive were covered in dust and dirt, unrecognizable.

The train car was balanced on top of the shell left of the other one. Broken glass welcomed the crew as they all looked for a way to help their lieutenant. His train car swayed with the way his weight moved inside the car.

"Cas'" She began "Lieutenant! Does it feel steady up there?" She screamed so he could hear through the squeaking metal.

"Does it look steady, Candidate?" he took a breath " There's a kid here. When I arrived he was screaming but now nothing." He pulled on something and a vein appeared on his forehead. The car swayed again.

"He, he he! Lieutenant!" She called out, an idea in mind "Use your weight to keep the car in balance"

"Candidate's got a point? the thing moves with you." Otis said, taking a few steps back.

"Yeah lieutenant, I think we could get the squad guys to stabilize the car" Cruz added and Severide gestured his guys in a circle.

"We're gonna get this car stabilized by finding the most steady and stable place in this station. We'll use the transpalet as basis if we have to. Capp, Mills, go get the wire"

"Hurry" Casey's voice came from above, panick showed through "He's stuck under a seat I can't get stable enough to lift it up. He's getting worse"

Gabby listened carefully for indications of the boy's health " Do you have a pulse?"

"Yeah but it's way weaker now than just a minute ago"

"Try to cover him up, the cold can slow his heart rate"

"I've already done that candidate"

Yes, of course he has.

"Open his mouth and make sure his head stays straight, his tongue could alter his respiration. Place two fingers in front of his nostrils, do you feel a flow?"

A few seconds passed " Yes"

" Keep checking regularly. Is he injured anywhere else?"

"Uhh, I don't know, the rest of him's under this fucking broken seat!"

Gabby looked around her with hope, she gladly could reassure Casey who, she figured must have been checking the boy's breathing.

"Lieutenant, they're hear, they'll hook the car up so you can get the boy out, copy that?"

No answer. His voice didn't make a sound, she heard a squeak as tough a piece of metal was being bent, repeated groans and finally a whimper. Casey's appeared again and the car swayed back and forth as though it only held on a rope.

In his arms was the child he had been rescuing. With a quivering lip, his body hung slack on Casey's arms. His eyes were half shut but Gabby knew he couldn't have been conscious. Casey got to the edge and Gabby had already made the moves to catch the victim. He handed the boy and Dawson's awaiting arms took hold of him. Dawson's look lingered on his skin, pale as a vampire with a blueish undertone that would surely deepen with time. His fingers were freezing cold, something that made her need to shield him even bigger.

"Get him to Brett and come back to stabilize this thing" Severide yelled.

She nodded and jogged toward the ambulance. Brett had work up her neck, the boy might not make it.

Deliver the victim. Just deliver the victim. That's enough.

She drove a finger to his neck to feel for a pulse, weak. Too weak.

Deliver the victim.

She spotted the closest empty stretcher and gently laid the boy on it. His pulse showed how critical his case was. She looked at her ambo colleagues. Busy.

She grabbed an oxygen mask and started the pulses, compressions, got a few blankets and checked for a pulse. Compressions again and pulses of oxygen.

Brett's hurried hand pushed her to the side "I got it, go"

The compressions kept on, the pulses fought Brett's attempt.

"Gabby. They need you. Go!"

If she gave her just a minute, just one minute. He would live.

"Gabby!"

Deliver the victims. That never was enough.

She closed her eyes and remembered. The blisters on her feet from the hours she'd spend training for that test. The faces of the people she'd dragued out of the flames.

The warmth she felt every time she saw a medic, happy to have helped someone. If it weren't for her job, that person would have never made it to the ambo in time.

Life saving was a group effort. And she hated that she hadn't seen it sooner. The thing wasn't about who made the most, whose job mattered the most. What meaning the person doing that job wished it would bring them. It was about roles and purposes. Like a machine, every piece served its purpose. The pieces alone had no value, it's pieced together, where their specific strength complete one another when they acquire the biggest value. When they performed what the machine was designed to perform. Saving lives, that was what the firefighter/medic machine had been designed to do and it did it well.

Her hands stopped and she immediately jumped back to help stabilize the car. It was hooked up to 4 wires and she saw her co workers run amuck, looking for places to attach them to.

By the time she arrived, 3 of the wires had been attached. Severide yelled at her and violently gestured to the ground. Unsure of what she would find, she looked down.

A hook attached to a wire.

 _Oh, I have to hook it._

She spotted the best solid ground she could find and sprinted to that place. As she ran, a deafening sound startled her whole being. Her heart wrapped in fear and, like a child scared to look in the closet, she glanced to the back.

The car had collapsed, her coworkers lay on the ground, immobile. Stunned, she completely ignored the continuous buzzing her ear had taken on.

Her heart felt heavy at her first thought: Casey.

Her heart burnt at the painful remembrance.

Deliver the victims.

That should have been enough.

* * *

 _ **I have to say that a firefighter will be in a critical condition after this chapter. He might even die.**_

 _ **I hope you enjoyed this chapter, it took a hell of a lot effort but I'm glad I was able to take it where I wanted. Have a great day and if you fell like it, maybe you could even leave a review.**_


	7. No Hero

A blurred reality played in front of her eyes. Things she saw but didn't record. Words she heard but didn't listen to. Her ear, she felt it now. Heard it loud and clear. That buzzing, painful and isolating. Life held to a string. That's something her job would never allow her to forget. Chaos unravelled around her, firemen on the floor, others sprinted to and fro. Medics dispatched to the different victims. She heard a deep voice, screaming behind her.

No movement. That painful buzzing serenaded her through the horror. She let her thoughts again far away, allowing herself to disconnect. Begging her conscious to have mercy. Delaying the inevitable return to reality. Blurry looked good on it at the time. It smoothed its sharp edges. Numbed the brain and body until it is ready to confront the truth.

A woman finally got to her, the wordless sounds Gabby's ears percieved felt like a warm hug at the end of a long day. She lay down and the medic got closer, palpating, checking pupils. Gabby sat through it all, silent, immobile, completely livid. The buzzing in her ear as sole companion.

She opened her eyes to an audiance. Smiley faces and teary eyes to welcome her back to a clear reality. The memories, intact. The pain, fresh. The guilt settled. She held her breath.

"Did everyone make it?" She choked on her words, her eyes welled in apprehension.

The smiley faces faded and sympathy drew on their faces. The tears stung her eyes and her limbs felt on fire. She scanned the faces to make out who was missing.

Otis, Check. Mouch, Check. Pratt, Check. Severide, Check. Mills, Check.

Casey, absent.

Cruz, Check. Johnson, Check.

Herrman, absent.

She sobbed "Casey? Herrman? Are they.." The words didn't come,

Severide stepped forward from behind Shay.

"No," he whispered. "Casey is out of surgery but nothing is certain. Herrman is still in the O R. We'll know more in two hours."

"I'm so sorry" She bursted into tears. " I never mea.."

"It wasn't you" Brett started. Gabby sat up and folded her legs to her stomach, she sobbed all along.

Kelly pushed her chin up to his level "Dawson", she fled his eyes, he took a breath. "Dawson!" she somewhat composed herself "It wasn't your fault".

No words came out of her mouth, she stared at the walls with an empty look in her eyes. She forced her eyes still until the rest of the room disappeared. That was the moment she had delayed. The safe space she allowed the raging emotions to take control. She deserved the guilt, she deserved every negative emotion that came her way. She had been so foolish. She had been arrogant. How can an on duty firefighter think it is safe to couple two jobs at a time? She had been so focused on being the hero. Even now, replaying the scene in her hand, she remembered Brett, behind her. Basically begging to do her job. A job Gabby's arrogance wouldn't let her let go of. Being a first responder meant putting the victims before you. Sacrificing a part of yourself and create a new chance for them.

She used them instead of serving their best interest. Disgusting. She fed that blood thirsty monster burried well underneath her good heart. It had been so easy hiding behind good intentions. Being a first responder only fueled her own need to be the Hero. To feel that fucking rush when you see someone walking around and tell yourself that without you, they wouldn't be there. The realisation got uglier as it went, she realised what saving a life really meant to her. Power. More than she had ever had before. It made her sick because it all sunk in. To be given such control over the fate of hundreds of people, even at the risk of her own life, provided her with unequalled sensations. That hunger for control was the core of the problem, her stomack tightened. That drive that led her to those carreer choices, she had mistaken for being an altruist. She threw up at the thought of her seemingly altruistic choices being in fact, the highest form of egocentrism at work.

A nurse entered the room and layed her back down on her pillow. She called in someone to get the room cleaned and asked everyone to give Gabriella some space. The nurse wiped Gabriella's mouth as well as her dignity. Gaby layed there, a blank stare on her face. She knew not who she was. She knew not who she would become. Loneliness was all her heart desires. Their presence there oppressed her, she couldn't deal with the accusing looks they gave, not on top of her own newly-found self hatred.

The nurses left the room after cleaning up the mess. Gabby's eyes remained blank. She chose numbness over pain again. She knew not how they were. She knew not if the unspeakable had happened. She would block the sad and the depressed part of her, as much as she could. And then, when the news came, would react accordingly.

"I want to be alone" She said and closed her eyes as to cut short any desire of discussion from her team.

Flames danced before her eyes as a hypnotic sound resonated in her ears. She saw screaming children and the faces of several people. All of them where scared. She knew a danger was there, lurking without identifying it. She saw the flames gain in intensity, raging on the ceiling but brought her no fear. The danger was elsewhere. Lurking in the shadows, ready to strike at the best moment. Least expected, that's when it hurts the most.

And all these faces, she knew them. She'd been there with them, through flames and crushing buildings. Car crashes and assaults, witnessing the worst in people's lives. Her chest hurt as the desplay of human chaos played right before her eyes. It wasn't about her. It was about those tears that should have never been shed. It was about the blood that never belonged on the floor. And it's about the pain that should never be felt. It's about disaster that, although inevitable, should be avoided at all costs. The burning in her body intensified as the faces multiplied. And the vanity and arrogance she thought poisonned her system couldn't be more scarce.

She didn't see her glorious acts. She didn't think about her. She wanted the tears to dry, the blood to stop shedding and the pain to vanish. Perhaps this had been it.

"Honey." A caressing tone tried.

She opened her lids to the face of an angel.

"Hey!" She said, joyful. "You're ok" she smiled. Casey's tender eyes layed on her. He sat back in his wheelchair and only then did she notice the nurse stood against the wall.

A timid smile drew on his lips. With a slight nod, he got close to her face and kissed her cheek. The numbness she had held on to was now no longer necessary. She let his closeness affect her. She let his touch comfort her. The brief contact of his lips on her bare skin had left a long lasting bliss in her mind. He was ok. He didn't resent her, he was ok.

"Where's Herrman?" She asked

"He still hasn't woken up. Are you all right?" He tilted his head frowning at her.

" I feel good." She humored him "Why?" she attempted to sit up.

"You've been in here for two days. Sleeping" he said, she opened her eyes wide.

She looked around her, disconcerted.

Wait a minute, accident, hospital, sleep, waking up. how much time did her nap take?

"2 days!?" he nodded again " Does that mean Herrman is in..."

"A coma" He said, the word resonated in her head.

"Can I see him?" she mindlessly said, a heavy knot in the stomach.

He lowered his eyes down and shook his head "only family is allowed"

She swallowed loudly "When can I get back to work?"

He put his hands over his face and rubbed his eyes. "Not yet. There's a lot we need to discuss."

Confused, she questionned him with a look.

"A couple of things aren't clear on what caused the incident. Bowden and the system are questionning your responsibility" He bit his lip.

"And by questionning you mean blaming" she blurted in a loud voice, not out of anger, more as an expression of guilt.

"I never said that. We're waiting on everybody's deposition. We're investigating."

"But while the investigation is happening I cannot.."

"Come back to the house." he finished I'm sorry. It's very serious. Herrman. He could"

"Don't" she cut him off, "I get it. I'll step back. Let things get worked out at the station. I get it" she crossed her arms on her chest and fought back her birthing tears.

 **Hi, I know I've been really bad at uploading new chapters, sorry. I haven't forgotten about this story I've just been busy. (Lamest excuse ever!) Have you watched the season final? Did you like thid season?**


	8. New Life

New Life.

Her eyes opened only a few minutes after the usual time. Instead of her usual getting-ready-for-work routine, she sighed and forcefully pushed herself out of her bed. Her feet slid to her dresser and she stood there, staring at it to the point of madness.

What was the point of getting up when she had no job to be at? She stared some more and held heavy arms on a drawer and opened with just enough care not to unscrew that one screw that somehow held it together. Mission accomplished: Now pick a shirt.

Her eyes wandered again. Whatever she took wouldn't matter anyway, she had nowhere to be. She sighed again.

The wallpaper was chipping off the wall behind her dresser. Had it always been like that? No way to tell. She had become so oblivious to her surroundings. Every single day she woke up to the same wallpaper, the same furniture, the same colours, the same patterns, the same carpets. Unbelievable.

The tear in the wallpaper looked old, too old for her not to have seen it before. To old for not having had it fixed. Those things you passed up out of habit. Or out of a "too hero to care" mentality. Unspeakable.

That level of letting go. Her house was falling appart, her life was falling appart. This attitude could ruin her everything, whatever "everything" she had left. She would never be passive again. Look where it had lead her? Had she dealt with her hero complex.. nothing would have...

No more being passive. Starting from that wall, she pinched the tear and pulled it off the wall. As much as she had screwed up, being suspended, second guessing her life choices. One thing was sure: when she saw something she didn't like, she changed it. She worked hard to make it better. If that wallpaper wasn't right, it needed to go, if her job isn't right it also needs to go.

"New house, new life. Fresh start", She repeated to herself as she tore more and more of her wallpaper, throwing the pieces until they covered most of her floor. She pushed the dresser aside to get more space and kept on tearing. "If things aren't right, I change them" she said grabbing another loose piece. She pealed it off the wall muttering "new life!". The next part she took hold of, she snatched with all the strength she mustered up. A scream of joy, how exhilerating. It had felt so right. She didn't have to live like that, she could just change it.

The tearing and snatching graduallly turned into rage. Hermann.

She could not just change that part of her story. That part of his family's story will be never be erased from their minds. The excrutiating wait for an answer, for his return to consciousness. The sleepless nights. The days of longing and pure suffering. That, she couldn't change. A scream of pain and frustration, how deafening. The tearing kept on and its therapeutic power diminished. She began looking for something else to do to focus her rage towards. She quick-paced through the bedroom and spun on herself. Her heart felt heavy and down her stomach, the need to scream came circling back, she needed to punch, yell, hammer something to shreds, and there it was. That old and ugly drawer that only held with one magical screw. So plain and useless. Jumping at it, she jerked it down and watched it crush as it hit the floor. She kicked at the piece of furniture and swore at the bolt of pain that came after.

"Fuck!" she grabbed her foot and bounced up and down.

The bell rang downstairs, who could it be this early in the morning?

She hopped down to the door and gently put her foot down to open, forcing the pain away. She shook the smirk of pain off and opened up to see Casey.

"Hey. How ya' holdin' up?" he looked up at her, attempting eye contact. Their eyes never met.

"Fine" she held in a grunt. Her body slightly leaned to the right, onto the door.

He watched as she moved for comfort. "You don't look fine"

She looked at him, caught in her act and tried a "I'm good" but she saw it didn't work, she bit the inside of her lip. "How's Hermann?"

"Gabby, are you ok?" he put a hand on her shoulder, she brushed it off.

"How is he?"She made eye contact.

"Gabby, are you ok?" he repeated, sinking his warm gaze into her stone cold eyes.

"Casey, is he ok?" she said, slower.

"He woke up at around three am and rang for a nurse to discharge him" she slapped his arm and pushed him away.

He looked at her with confusion.

"Why didn't you lead with that? I was dead worried!" She laughed in relief and closed the door.

"Gabby!" she could hear his muffled voice.

"I'm fine, go to work" she pressed her back against the door and slid down to a sitting position. The pain in her foot was barely there. Legs folded against her chest, she rested her head on her knees and smiled. No teeth, but still. A genuine, feel good smile.

She limped to her bag and took her phone out of it. One ring, two, three. Maybe he didn't have his phone yet. Or maybe it had died, it had been days. Voicemail. He'd lost his phone during the call. It broke under the stones. There had to be an explanation. Another one than the one she'd refused to let sink in. A reason that had nothing to do with him hating her the way she hated herself. The truth being she had been too slow, she had let them down. Thank god he had lived, all she could do was pray for him to get his life back as soon as possible.

Or, she could do more.

She grabbed her keys and changed her clothes. Off she was to the hospital.

She stormed in, ignoring the nurses' pleads to not wake the patients. Hermann could sleep and she could wait. Best thing about having nowhere to be, was... well, having nowhere to be.

Her steps grew lighter and lighter as she approached his room. As if her reckless mind had finally come to its senses. She stopped in front of the door and considered knocking. She then opted for a gentle handle twisting and a careful door pushing. His wife startled up and like a magnet, stuck her finger over her lips. she walked toward her.

"What are you doing here?" she whispered.

Gabby's mind scanned her tone. Calm, surprised. No underlying hatred. She must be crazy.

"How is he?" she whispered in response, looking at her feet, which by the way, no longer hurt.

"He woke up last night, acted like.. well, himself and the nurses gave him a sedative so he could sleep. He's been out ever since."

Gabby smiled "Yeah I heard he wanted out"she shook her head.

Hermann's wife took a step and walking beside her; motionned Gabby outside the room. Once she had carefully closed the door she waved Gabby closer.

"Look, it's nice to see you here and I'm sure Hermann will love to see you when he wakes up."

"But" She said, expectantly

"But" she gulped "It's been a violent shock to his head. I don't know how he'll react to... well, having you here"

She could feel the heaviness of those words weigh on her in a whole new way. Suddenly, a scary thought came creeping in. One her chaotic mind had not envisionned. That Herrman could be aware of her mistake, of the way she let him down. Of how if she hadn't been so focused on doing someone else's job, she would have been in place fast enough for the operation to go smoothly.

Her face swivelled down to never get back up, her back slouched like under an invisible weight. What did she expect? Of course his wife would turn away the woman responsible for her husband's hell. As much as shame ate away her self-worth it seemed to fuel her feet that had never moved that quickly before. In a matter of seconds she was at the end of the hallway, close to the reception's desk. Eyes keeping south, she bumped into an unknown amount of people not even whispering an apology. They all held their pace, silent as well until one stopped and grabbed her hand.

A heartbeat with a glance. Who dared take her out of her depressed transe?

"What are you doing here?" Casey put his firefighter cask under his arm.

She gestured to the hallway "just visiting Hermann"

His eyes widened "Oh, he awake?"

She shook her head "his wife said he might. Not. Want. to see me."

His face seemed to close off "mmh" he took a breath "Imma pop an eye there. I'll see you tomorrow at the firehouse"

Her face lightenned, hope immediatley alleviated the weight on her shoulders "Am I back on truck?"

He shook his head and looked at her, with sorry eyes "Sorry, I shouldn't have said it like that" she shrugged, hid a gulp "We still need to discuss how things went down"

She felt her stomach tighten, she knew it announced nothing good. He'd already said that when he suspended her. Her breath quickened. It was like he'd put her heart in a blender. Nausea bent her in two, as her hand covered her mouth she saw it tremble.

Casey dropped his cask to the floor and wrapped an arm around the small of her back. He helped her to the closest seat.

"We need a doctor!" he shouted before looking back at her "you okay?"

She gasped for air as a response, she felt her blood race through her veins, her heart thudded in her ears leaving her completely deaf to his questions.

"Gabby, what's wrong?" he put a hand on her forehead "Gabby!"

A medical team arrived, after asking in vain for Gabby to get up. He took the matter in his own hands, litteraly and gently laid her down on the bed.

"Sit her up" ordonned the doctor.

He did. She placed the stetoscope on Gabby's chest, asked her to breathe in.

Gabby executed the orders as her ears slowly started to hear again. Progressively, things started to get back to normal. Air flowed in and out, her nausea disappeared and the thuds ceased.

The Doctor put away her tools" Everything looks fine" She told Casey and then said "Are you under a lot of stress?" turning to Gabby.

She nodded, hoping Casey wouldn't see, she glanced at him, he saw.

"You were just having a panic attack. Take it easy and you should be fine" The doctor left, leaving her with a nurse to sign the discharge papers. The nurse asked her to come with him.

Casey followed "What about Herrman?" she asked,

"Herrman's asleep. Don't worry about it" He attempted to grab her hand, she slyly dodged it.

His hand travelled up and down her back, he barely felt her skin as she kept herself as far as the distance between her skin and her clothes could be. He gave confort, didn't he know she deserved none of it?

"I'm sorry" she said, under her breath.

He put his head closer "What was that?"

She put on her best smile "Be safe", she started her car and drove away.

He yelled something behind her car but the words were drowned by the distance.


End file.
